Although it’s something I haven’t written or spoken about openly, I’ve been in a place of spiritual reflection and growth for the past couple of years since my father-in-law passed away. It’s led me down a wormhole of reading on theology, divinity, and philosophy, and over time I became struck by how many thousands of years and hundreds of disciplines of human thinking ultimately come down to one spiritual rule, and it’s this: love God, yourself, and others, in that order. If you don’t believe in God, replace that word with Being, Existence or the Universe and the same concept applies. (If you’re a Nihilist, why are you still reading this blog?).

“All spirituality comes down to how you’re doing life right now — how you’re doing life right now is a microcosm of your whole life.” — Richard Rohr

Although it’s a simple rule, it’s hard to do in a world where suffering, pain, intolerance and a whole host of problems are a fact of life. To help me stay oriented to that one simple rule, I’ve kept a short list in my iPhone notes for comfort during those dips that eventually and inevitably cycle through our lives, or even just in moments of self-doubt when I need some inspiration to get back into the right frame of thinking. I shared it on my Instagram stories (which I’ve been using as a creative tool to observe, write and share daily) before Christmas, and got so many requests for it in list form that I thought it would be nice for it to live on this blog.

I hope you find it a helpful as I do!

12 simple, free gifts you can give to yourself and others to show love:

1. Know you are inherently worthy and loved exactly as you are in this moment.

2. Be yourself — and light the way for others to do the same.

3. Forgive yourself like God forgives you — and forgive others.

4. Do not waste time on negative thinking, and refuse to think or speak unkind words to yourself and others.

5.  Play, sing, dance and laugh more — and spread your joy to as many people as you can.

6. Say ‘no’ as often as you need to — and give others permission to say no, too.

7. Do something you were created to do every day — and share your gifts with the world.

8. Be honest with yourself and others.

9. Stop and give thanks for your life every day — and for the people you love.

10. Be bold, get out of your comfort zone and try something new every day. You have nothing to be afraid of.

11. Be patient with yourself, and give patience to others — we’re all just trying our best with what we have.

12. Engage in every moment — notice the boring little things, and let them thrill you.